Because nothing says “recovery and healing” like vengeful hate, rage and bitterness.
The description of “surviving” this gives is just another form of victimhood. One in which the “survivor” continues to be eaten up inside and internalizes the abuse in a way that hollows them out and imprisons them for life unless they can let it go.
Don’t mistake anger for healing, and please do not interpret bitterness and rage as strength. It’s just another form of living death, and letting the abuser “win.”
The abused can only TRULY live when they reach a place of forgiveness and compassion: when the thought of the person no longer moves them to tears OR anger, but instead mercy.
When you are strong enough to reach out your hand in compassion to your abuser and look them in the eye without fear of being hurt, THEN you can call yourself a survivor. THEN you will have triumphed over darkness and evil.
I’m going to put my response to this under a cut, because it’s absolutely the angriest I have ever been on the internet and y’all following me don’t need to be forced to interact with that! Above the cut, I’d like to offer two things. The first is that I will be refraining from posting anything on either LBD or abuse & related topics for a nice long while, because there’s a healthy level of anger and then there’s what happens when someone I’ve never spoken to informs me that I don’t get to call myself a survivor! Secondly, and more importantly: while I was indeed talking in my original post about a handful of specific methods through which a character on a YouTube show could portray the aftermath of abuse in what I personally think would be a more empowering way, in real life? There a thousand, a hundred thousand, right way to be a survivor, and every one of them revolves around what makes you feel healthy and solid and whole. Don’t let anybody tell you different; so long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, however you get through this shit is just fine. <3